evolution within

The Law of Attraction has been getting a great deal of attention lately due to the movie, The Secret. The biggest thing this movie has accomplished is bringing this ancient knowledge to the mainstream of our society in a way that it is easily understood. The Law of Attraction has been at work from the beginning of time. People sensed how it had been at work, manifesting in their own lives even though they were not consciously aware of it.

There is an excitement around this knowledge that is fascinating to see arise within the human spirit of others. On a very deep level this is something we all know and have always known but the societal beliefs that have boxed us in have given way to a new vision of existence. It is as if there is a collective sigh of relief in our society as we begin to realize we have permission to own our personal power and the freedom to choose the life we desire.

Equipped with this new awareness to create, some are able to decide what they want and like a ship turn the course of their lives in the opposite direction. Others focus on what they want and seem to struggle every step of the way. What makes the difference in a person’s ability to work with the Law of Attraction?

It is important to understand how the Law of Attraction works. It’s a natural Law of the Universe, which means it always works; it is absolute. It is unchanging and infinite. It is based on like attracts like. We will draw into our lives that which we focus on the most. We will attract what we really want and equally that which we don’t want based on the amount of energy, time and intensity of emotions we give to something. The Universe doesn’t judge our request it simply responds to it. If we want to create financial security but focus on our debt, we will continue to have debt.

The desires that we are truly clear on manifest more quickly because the Universe is responding with the same level of clarity. When we go within and trust ourselves we connect to our inner knowing. Decisions and choices made from this place allow us to know what we want with unwavering certainty. If we experience both negative and positive emotions about a desire we send a mixed message to the Universe. We get back the confusion we have sent out. One of our biggest blocks in attaining our true desires is our beliefs systems instilled in us in childhood. Sometimes these beliefs are subconscious and are only brought to our attention when we keep getting the same thing over and over again while intending to create something quite different than what we got. This is a signal for us to take a closer look and discover the self limiting belief that is blocking us from our goals.

These old beliefs take root while quite young, setting us up to attract to our lives that which brings greater validation to our beliefs. We accumulate many experiences through the years that “prove” our beliefs to us. For the most part this all happens without awareness and mostly from a place of creating by default. In terms of the Law of Attraction it will take time to dismantle these more ingrained beliefs. It can require patience to stay the course while continuing to hold our new vision. These old beliefs can be released and replaced with new ones that are more in line with our true selves.

It is impossible to monitor your every thought but what you can do is pay attention to how you feel. If you feel negative emotions, you are creating negativity. It is a sign you are out of alignment with yourself. Ask yourself if you need to change your attitude or if there is something in your life that you need to move away from or move towards.

Affirmations can be really powerful. While stating your affirmation take time to really feel what you want. Visualize yourself experiencing it in your life. See it in the now because the future never arrives. Imagine your desire as a seed you are sending out into the universe that is right now in this moment manifesting into reality.

Your desires will be blocked if you are attempting to escape what is today. Accept today and allow the fact that what you are creating is in the process today as well as acceptance of the now. Focus on what you want to create but be grateful for what you do have. Count the blessings in your life.

Grasping at what you want or demanding it is another way of keeping you stuck. Grasping or demanding something comes from a strong feeling of NOT having it, which will keep you in the same place. Be light hearted about what you want and stay in a positive state of mind. Plant your seed and let it go out into the universe.

If you are really solid in what you want the steps and action towards it will feel natural and exciting. You might even feel a little scared but it won’t stop you. The stronger you feel about your desire, the stronger support you will get from the universe. The universe is one of least resistance and responds directly to your state of being. Focus on what you want but not on the lack of it in your life. Focus on what you want with expectancy and arms wide open.

You are the creator of your life. Discover your true desires, dare to dream and explore new opportunities. Understanding the Law of Attraction allows you to consciously draw to you the conditions and circumstances you most desire for your life. Trust the process and the universe will provide. Change your thoughts and you will change your world.

If you are clear about what you want,

the world will respond with clarity.

Loretta Staples

What is love and marriage all about? Based on statistics, our society ranks pretty high in the clueless department. Fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. When we look around at the other fifty percent, how many of us say, “Yah, they have what I’m looking for?” So, what is the purpose of love relationships? Are we responsible for one another’s happiness? Does love mean putting our partner’s feelings before our own? What is a soul mate?

Our earliest memories of romantic love are from childhood fairy tales. Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White are all rescued by a handsome prince and live happily ever after. Cultural programming leads us to believe we need to find that one perfect person to be happy, so we can live happily ever after. We are surrounded by nearly every form of media available telling us what love should look like. Unfortunately, the Hollywood version of a soul mate has far more to do with fantasy than any real resemblance of true love. Romantic love is a myth. The characters on the screen often know little of one another, fall madly in love and magically overcome all obstacles in their path by the power of their love. Many couples are walking down the aisle with unrealistic and impossible expectations.

We have visions of another person completing us and making us feel whole. Romantic illusion gives us such a high because we feel loved by this person that seems perfect and thinks we are too. It’s exhilarating. When the high wears off we are left disillusioned with the real “imperfect” person. In love relationships it can be difficult to face or even acknowledge our feelings to ourselves, especially if we are holding onto the romantic illusion as if our very life depends upon it. Many couples will attempt to ignore this reality until there is a huge elephant in the room, with no way around it. In an attempt to subdue and avoid our own inner conflicts, we set out to persuade one another to change. This rarely produces the results we are looking for, starting with gentle persuasion and escalating to power struggles. Meanwhile the elephant has become so enormous that is all we can see.

Recognizing the myth of romantic love in our culture is the opening up and opportunity for real growth within us. Our ability to truly love comes from developing a deeper connection to ourselves. There are no “Princes” or “Princesses” that can rescue us. We must rescue ourselves by developing a relationship with our true self. No one else can make us complete. It comes from doing our own inner work to discover and love who we truly are. That means paying attention to our thoughts and emotions to uncover what our personal values are, accepting our limitations as well as our strengths. We can only love another to the extent that we love ourselves. We cannot share with another that which we cannot find within us – it cannot be found outside of us.

Marriage and love relationships offer us our greatest opportunities for personal growth and to develop healthy interdependence with another person. Instead of perceiving issues as conflicts or problems to be solved, we gain far more by asking ourselves, “What can I learn about myself from this situation?” It gives us the opportunity to look at our defense system and limiting beliefs. Instead of focusing on what your partner said, pay attention to how you are feeling in response to it. When we are grounded in who we are, it provides us the ability to respond to one another instead of reacting to the situation. We stop expecting the other person to make us happy. There is tremendous freedom for both people when they stop pretending in order to please the other person. If we realize it isn’t our job to make each other happy, we also realize we are not responsible for one another’s unhappiness. Our emotions belong to us and no one else has the power to “make” us feel anything.

The more we know ourselves, the more capable we are to have a relationship far deeper and satisfying than any illusion of romantic love. Authentic love provides us the acceptance and deep connection we long for with another. We discover new ways of looking at our relationship concerns. It is always evolving and changing so we maintain a freshness, void of boredom. It is more mysterious and passionate than the illusion of love, filled with a sense of wonder and the unexpected (in a good way). Authentic love never expects the one to give up who they are for the other. Instead of feeling captured by our relationship we feel liberated because we are supporting and encouraging one another to be more fully who we are. We can be a union of two whole individuals as we go through life.

I used to believe that marriage would diminish me, reduce my options. That you had to be someone less to live with someone else when, of course, you have to be someone more.

Candice Bergen

When life feels like a struggle it is a clear sign of our resistance to it. If we choose to resist anything in our lives by hating it, ignoring it, pretending it doesn’t exist and in general deciding something should or shouldn’t be, we are ensuring that it will remain a problem for us. The Law of Resistance tells us, what we resist, will persist. The more we try to push it away, we unwittingly give it greater power in our life. Our life circumstances are our experiences, but they do not define who we truly are unless we allow them to. Our experiences in life affect us but we get to choose how we perceive and allow them to impact our lives – positive or negative.

We must accept and embrace our current circumstances, as well as our life stories and where we are at any given moment. Areas we feel the greatest resistance in are often our most fertile ground for personal growth. Surrendering to what is or has happened in our past, allows us the ability to connect and listen to ourselves – not the chattering in our minds but to hear our own inner voice. Life circumstances can hold associations to painful past experiences that hold us hostage. Resisting our reality drains us of our life energy preventing us from moving through our issues to a greater sense of freedom. Acceptance allows space for transformation and change to occur. We are no longer engaged by an internal power struggle against what is. When uncomfortable circumstances occur we can use them to look within ourselves and examine our thoughts and feelings surrounding it. It gives us the opportunity to recognize negative habits and beliefs that are creating the very situations we don’t want in our lives. Energy spent resisting what we don’t want, blocks our ability to create what we do want. Releasing resistance creates ease where there was struggle.

The fear is that surrendering means we are settling for what we don’t want in life. There is the feeling that the possibility for change is lost if we accept our current circumstances. It is the very opposite. By accepting what is, we allow the natural process of life to flow. Life is energy in constant motion. Change is brought about when we make peace with the very thing we feel resistant to. Resisting and pushing up against life in order to change it, is what prevents and blocks the flow of life. This causes us to feel stuck, drained and diminished. Forcing solutions in life only brings us more problems, struggle and suffering. If we pay attention we can actually feel the difference in our bodies when we stop resisting. It is an instantaneous release of pressure, as if a literal weight has been lifted off our bodies. We feel a sense of lightness from within.

We must surrender to all that is in our life and ask ourselves, “What is _______ in my life to teach me?” Running away from our deep seated feelings only serves to drive them deeper within us, causing us to continue to get more of those unwanted circumstances by giving hidden power to repressed fears and beliefs. The challenge is to recognize in the midst of our difficulties that our answer and power actually lies in our ability to surrender and let go. What we surrender to is learning to connect to the deep sense of knowing that resides within us all to know what is right for us. We are conditioned to look outside ourselves for our answers, but our natural state of being – our true self holds the answer to all of our questions. There is always an answer – always. Our true self will never leave us or let us down, can be counted on to tell us the truth, always has intentions for our highest good and will always show us the right path. We need to learn to listen and follow the quiet voice within. Listen for inspiration in the thoughts and ideas that would not have come to us otherwise. The closer we get to our true self the things in life that aren’t aligned to it start to fall away or no longer bother us. Surrendering allows us to respond rather than react to our past and current life circumstances. Responding comes from our core, our true selves. Reacting comes from old beliefs, fear, and misperceptions from the past.

We are a society filled with “doers”, so our first thought is, “What do I need to do to find my true self?” We won’t find it by seeking it or trying to develop it because it already exists – it just is. It is so simple really and yet it seems so elusive to us. All we need to do is allow and accept it. We need only to set our intention towards giving our attention to our true selves for it to happen. Our true self wants to be heard by us and it comes to us in that nagging feeling that deep down we know there is more to life than we are experiencing. This is our true source of power; where we hold the knowledge of our full potential and ability to manifest in our lives. Living our lives according to who we really are brings us freedom and peace. It gives us new eyes to see our current life (and the past we carry with us) in a different light. Many times what we consider our greatest successes in life begin as perceived failures. When we surrender to life’s unwanted and unexpected situations and decide to grow from them, our most difficult times can be magnificently transformed into our greatest gifts and insights.

Every diversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit. Napolean Hill

Living in the moment requires us to let go of control. It means letting go of our limiting beliefs, conditioning, fears, hopes and dreams that we use as a security blanket to navigate through life. The majority of people are either thinking about something that already happened or what will happen as opposed to being in the present moment. We exist under the illusion, that in order to maintain control we must always be planning for the future or analyzing the conversations and interactions we have had in the past. We play out mock scenarios about the future. It puts us in a state of surviving the present moment in order to reach a happier, better place. The striving we do to get “there” becomes the “now” we are living, thus leaving us in a place of never arriving. As a society, many of us are going through life as if we are sleepwalking. It is as if we are unconscious. We imagine that our real life is something to be attained beyond our daily experience.

The only thing that truly gets us to a new place of existence is by being in the present moment. Making a choice to live in the moment gives us the opportunity to live a life that is authentic. It gives us the opportunity to create our external lives as an expression of who we truly are from the inside. Living in the moment means to move through life in a conscious manner – to be present. Consciousness literally means, “Awareness of something for what it is; awareness of one’s own existence, sensations, thoughts, surroundings, etc.” Being conscious in the present moment allows us to know ourselves.

Living in the moment allows our self-limiting beliefs, pretenses and inner blocks to gradually fall away. We begin to realize we can live our lives with the power to make our choices in a conscious more voluntary way, as opposed to living our lives by default. We begin to experience life more as an unfolding as we learn the skills of staying open, moment by moment. We stop hiding and start taking responsibility for ourselves.

It seems at first to be quite a challenge to be watchful and conscious of ourselves in the moment. The first thing we realize is how much we DON’T live in the moment. When listening to another we will notice how our mind is engaged in our own inner dialogue. Being conscious in the moment is a process that takes time to develop. We can start by practicing the art of paying attention (being the watcher).

One of the easiest ways to bring yourself into the present moment is to bring your focus to your breathing. Take deep belly breaths and exhale; feel the sensations in your body. Pay attention to simple things that you do every day like, driving your car, smelling and really tasting the food you eat. Let go of where you need to be next and be right where you are. What if this moment was your last moment on earth? Would you choose to experience it to the very fullest? Would you feel the sunshine on your face? Would you linger in the smell of your child’s hair or embrace the fact that your legs are carrying you across the room?

It is simple in its application and yet can be a struggle to prevent our mind from drifting. As we re-connect with our ability to stay in the present moment we begin to remember our own innate sense of knowing, “That which we know”. We begin to realize that we can trust ourselves. We are born with the ability to be in the moment and need only to look at a small child to see how natural it is for them. Pay attention to how a child is caught up in “being”, as opposed to “doing”. We need to go about our lives with a conscious awareness of how we are “being” instead of focusing on what we are “doing” by being present in our daily experiences. Being present in our daily experiences is what takes us from A to Z. There are no shortcuts in life and as we learn the art of living in the moment, we awaken to the fact that we wouldn’t have it any other way. It is life at its fullest. As we make friends with ourselves, it is important to be kind, accepting and most of all forgiving of ourselves. Only through awareness and acceptance can we begin the journey of letting go of the things that hold us back from embracing and experiencing our life to the fullest.

Your words are deciding your future.

Life changes only when your daily priorities change.

The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.

You will never reach your potential until your
priorities become habitual.

We do not really decide our future….

We decide our habits, and our habits decide our future.

When you want something you have never had,
you’ve got to do something you have never done.

You can only move away from a negative thought
by deliberately moving towards a positive one.

What you hear repeatedly, you will eventually believe.

Give another what he cannot find elsewhere,
and he will keep returning.

Confidentiality is one of
the most treasured gifts you can give another.

Don’t expect a 3 x 5 friendship to cultivate your
16 x 20 dream.

Those who do not discern your worth are
disqualified from a relationship with you.

Your life will always move in the direction
of your strongest thought.

Much of the suffering we go through during times of change have to do with our cherished beliefs being bumped up against and challenged by the very situations we find ourselves in. It can be so frightening that sub-consciously we fight letting it go because it is the death of something we have most likely been carrying around with us since we were quite young. When we realize this fact, we can let go of the belief that is getting in our way and no longer useful to us. Realizing that a belief must dissolve before it can be replaced by something greater can help us let go because we are ushering in a new birth within us. Real and lasting change is unlikely if we pile a new awareness on top of a belief that does not line up with the new knowledge we are wanting to integrate into our lives. The underlying belief will ultimately rise above, creating much struggle and havoc within us.

Most importantly, we must not be boxed in within our perceptions. Too much time can be spent on what do we “believe” as opposed to what do we “know” through our experience (inner eyes) in any given moment. Personally, I do not hold fast to any belief I might have at the present moment because it can get in the way of my experiencing slight shifts in my imagination, that ultimately will create greater change within me than any outer information I may come across. It seems to me that beliefs are not innate as they are ever-changing and pliable. My belief system is always up for re-evaluation and renewal.

I want to be one of those rare people in the latter years of life, still full of light, love and laughter. For this to happen we must be forever willing to challenge the status quo within us, releasing the old and allowing the new to find it’s way to the surface. I have been inspired by a dear friend that I have nicknamed, wise woman /wonder child. To be simultaneously full of wisdom from our experiences and yet still see the world with the sense of wonder of a child seems to me a very appealing place to exist.